Changes

I am going through a transition right now. I moved away from a position that I loved doing for many years. It defined me for a long time. I loved the people I worked with, I loved what I did. I knew it so well and I did it well. A big part of my life was my position. I spent a lot of time there, when needed worked weekends and nights. I could see myself doing it for the rest of my life. 

But just when you think you have everything planned and you are going down one road, life takes unexpected turns. These unexpected turns caused me some heartache and even stress at my once beloved position.

Without going into details, the changes were going to be an impact and I thought to myself that my pride and happiness was always going to be first, so when I realized the changes were going to negatively impact me, I stepped away from it. 

I ultimately gave myself two choices and both were going to result in change. One option was to stay and the other option was to leave. And I decided to leave. I didn't have a plan or any idea what I was going to do next. I just knew that whatever it was, it was going to be great because I decided it would be. 

It takes some courage, that I didn't think I completely had, to leave without a plan and it should have been scary, and I will admit it was. We usually stop ourselves from doing something because of fear. We do things because they are safe, not because they are hard. 

But it is when you step into discomfort and into the unknown when you find out what you are capable of overcoming. 

I learned that the position didn't define me. I define me. Things I do everyday define me. My family, my friends, Taekwondo, painting, making jewelry, community service, reading, learning, traveling, experiences, and the list goes on that of things that define me. 

You can always start over. Sure, it's hard to do, and it's not something we all want to do. But know that if you need to, hit that restart button, while humbling, it is refreshing because you get a chance to learn something new.

I believed everything would work out. And it did. After trusting that things will work out and staying positive I went in for another position and was offered it and now I am embarking on something new.

It's exciting to know that deep down inside we are all capable of standing up for what we believe in. When I did that I found the confidence to let go and start a new chapter. It was freeing. It felt like a bird not knowing if his wings will work, but jumps off the cliff anyway. It's faith that they will work. It's faith that everything will be okay. It's inherently knowing that the wings will work.

I learned that I won't let anyone make decisions for me again. I learned to speak out and up for what I believe in. We should all do that, especially us women. Every time you don't speak up for yourself and for what you believe in you are taking a step backward. Every time you speak up for yourself you take a step forward, you grow, you learn, and you get stronger.

I find that I try and plan and plan. I plan what I am going to do tomorrow, the weekend, and anything else that can be planned, but changes are inevitable, and you can't plan for them. Don't plan everything. Feel comfortable and confident in not planning. Try it this weekend.

Change comes in like the wind from any direction when you least expect it. You can't change it, but you can decide what you are going to do when you are presented with change. I knew change was coming, my two options resulted in change, and I actually went with the biggest change. It was freeing. It made me realize that's it okay to go out of your comfort zone. A friend sent me a note with a quote from Brian Tracy that read:

 "Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new" 

It resonated with me on so many different areas and levels. It inspired me and also comforted me. Your not alone. It's okay to feel uncomfortable and it's okay to feel awkward. It will pass, you will learn, and you will grow.